Orientation

Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease
-Our Ob/Gyn professor

So today was the first day of orientation, or as I like to call it, my attempt at getting through an entire 7 hours without offending too many ethnic groups. Its been a struggle. Today, I almost made it, with my apologies to lesbians and Italians everywhere. I tried.

I figure if I can get through this year without offending the Asian girls and Jewish boys that compose 90% of my school (with a few Jewish girls and Asian boys thrown in for diversity), I can call it a successful year. It'll probably be a lot easier once NBC stops showing freakish Chinese gymnasts on TV.

So orientation basically consists of sitting in an auditorium, learning about the 450 forms you have to fill in the next 72 hours. They let you stew in that information for a good hour or two as you listen to about 50 faculty members, at which point they'll give you a 15 minute break to be bounced around a bunch of offices in a desperate attempt to pay for your tuition. But, hey, free food.